DonBoy

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Sunday, August 15, 2004

And Now, A Message From Asshats For Bush

Fellow Americans: If you're getting a little tired of the whole Swift Boat thing, take heart -- we've got other stuff. For instance, you know that speech Max Cleland gave a couple of weeks ago as the warmup to Kerry's acceptance speech? You think we got nothing left for Max, just because we knocked him out of the Senate? Hell no!

You keep hearing about how Max Cleland "lost three limbs" in Vietnam. First of all -- oh, boo hoo. Tell it to the woman with no limbs at all who just got insulted by the French, no less, when she tried to get on a plane. I bet that woman wishes she had at least one limb. Really, Max Cleland's just a big whiner. But I digress.

Check out the video of Cleland's speech here. Watch his empty jacket arm. That thing's twitching! I bet he's got a good 3 or 4 inches of stump up there. "Lost three limbs" my ass! From now on, we demand that all Americans refer to Max Cleland as losing "two-and-a-half, two-and-three-quarter limbs, tops".

And we demand that he release his medical records, too. The man could have vestigial body parts we haven't thought of. You never know. He might have put his gay lover on the staff! OK, that's not even remotely true, and it wouldn't be in his medical records anyway, but we thought we should mention that story as much as we can.

Hold on, did I mention that everyone in our group was in the rehab hospital where Cleland was? At some time or other? And we all have, at most, one full limb? I forgot to say that? Well, it's true.

This has been a message from ~~Asshats For Bush~~ Veterans-With-At-Most-One-Full-Limb for Truth.

- posted by Don Porges @ 8/15/2004 09:45:00 PM

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