Let me say publicly that DonBoy’s answer exudes a combination of intuitive genius and confidence that make me think DonBoy is going to do big things in his life. -- Steven D. Levitt (Freakonomics blog)
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
The Butt Cancer Treatment Center

The referrer logs show that a lot of people would like to see a transcript of the Butt Cancer Treatment Center ad, and since the people at the standard place haven't gotten to it yet, here you are:

[In a kitchen; Amy Poehler and Jason Sudeikis address the camera earnestly.]

Amy: There's some things men don't like to talk about.

Jason: Like butt cancer.

Amy: Yes. Like butt cancer. Did you know that cancer of the dumper affects one in every forty men? But if detected early, it's often successfully treated.

Jason: If it weren't for the doctors at the Butt Cancer Treatment Center, I might not be here today.

Amy: We owe so much to the Butt Cancer Treatment Center.

Jason: We do. I was so worried about my pooper. Then one of the specialists at the Center fiddled around with my buns, and found the problem.

Amy: That's usually all it takes. They diddle your pooper and then you know.

Jason: Knowledge is power.

Amy: If you're a man over 30 and you're concerned, you should have someone put a finger up your fartbox.

Jason: My butt is clean and free and living the good life.

Amy: Your fudge factory deserves the best.

[Cut to picture of building, with sign: "The Butt Cancer Treatment Center"]

Female voice, v.o: The Butt Cancer Treatment Center. Let us check out your stinker.

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